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Chronic Overshare

Every two weeks I take my Humira shot. No big deal. But, a couple days afterward the most wonderful thing happens.

I poo. I mean, I take a dump. It's awesome.

The thing is, I crap constantly. All the freaking time. Just not like this. This is one of those rare, deeply satisfying, glorious dumps. And I get to look forward to it every two weeks. It's a major source of joy in my life.

And what's my immediate reaction every two weeks? What is the first thing I want to do as I saunter triumphantly from the bathroom? I want to tell people. I actively seek out someone to inform of the magnificent crap I just took. I'm genuinely disappointed if no one's around. My poor roommates.

There's this funny thing that happens when you have Crohn's. You lose all ability to gauge when it is and is not appropriate to talk about bodily functions. At least, I have. I no longer have any hang ups when it comes to discussing any sort of fluid the human body produces. I've been there, seen pretty much all of it. I mean, I'm not going to walk up to my new boss on Monday and discuss the regularity of my bowels or anything, but you get what I mean. Sometimes things just slip out and you realize afterwards, when people are slowly placing their utensils on their plates and failing to hide their vaguely disgusted expressions, that you maybe could've made a better effort at self-censorship. Oops.

Actually, not only have I lost the ability to judge when it may or may not be inappropriate to talk about poop, I'm downright stoked about it sometimes. When things go well in the bathroom, it's not a small thing in my life. So I get pretty excited about it when things do go my way, you know? I feel like that's reasonable.

Maybe I could make a slightly more concerted effort to filter myself. But, honestly, I probably won't. It's not really that much of an issue in my life. I'm never straight up rude. At least, not on purpose. I just get excited. But, lots of people are just really uncomfortable with talk of poo. Especially when it comes from a woman's mouth. Because, you know, we lady folk aren't supposed to crap or fart or anything. And if we, by some unavoidable circumstance, happen to let one squeak out, we certainly should not speak of it to anyone. Ever.

I guess my point here is that I just don't feel all that bad about my enthusiastic poop-talk. I find it charming. Adorable, even. And I'm not going to stop. Do you have a story of a time when you accidently gave a little too much information about your own bodily functions? Share them and any other thoughts you might have in the comments!

Comments

  1. I was constipated for a whole week when I visited my cousins in Florida. They are elderly so it might not have phased them much but I definitely gave them updates on my "progress" every day all week. The week ended with Miralax. When I got home I wondered if it had made them uncomfortable at all.

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    Replies
    1. Almost that exact same thing happened to me last Thanksgiving! But there are a few other people in my family that have chronic diseases, so it didn't particularly phase anyone. Now that I think of it, that probably only adds to my complete comfort with the subject...

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  2. I have gotten more comfortable with it over the past 20 years that I have had colitis. I think that ends up meaning I care less and less about other people feeling uncomfortable. I wrote a post about it on a neato blog (not my blog) about working with chronic illness, check it out if you like.

    http://workingwithchronicillness.com/2012/06/talking-about-illness-suggestions-from-the-trenches/

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  3. Hi , Names Ken I'm 22 and was diagnosed with Crohnes at 12 ever since then it has limited my life so much. By the age of 18 I was being heavily medicated on Asacol 3x a day and Entocort a steroid twice a day! I looked and felt like a robot and hated every minute of it.... Soo I stopped it all by choice no more meds I said .

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  4. Well, good for you if you survive it. It may do wonders for your psychological wellbeing in the short term because we of multiple diagnoses feel so out of control much of the time. If you do happen to have a recurrence of symptoms, I hope you can take it in stride and just get the medical help you need. It wouldn't be a failure on your part. You just tried something that didn't work, something I've done literally ad nauseum. If it does work, then you have achieved that rare and elusive goal we all desire: remission. All the best to you.

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  5. And I feel compelled to say that Asacol + Entocort may feel like being heavily medicated, but relative to my 12 different meds + IV Remicade, that's a fairly basic regimen. The number of pills is high and highly irritating, but it could have been so much worse. I write out of concern that you'll get yourself in a situation where you need so much more than what you were originally on. (Now I feel like I'm the one who is oversharing)!)

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  6. People ask me all the time, "but isn't that embarrassing to talk about??" I always reply explaining that when you have Crohn's, nothing is embarrassing-or personal! I can remember when I was 11, having an intern asking about my bowel habits and LEARN how to take a stool sample. GOOD TIMES.

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  7. Ah yes, i love talking about poop. I mean, it's a huge part of our life with crohn's!! good poops bad poops..haha. Just glad i have the friends and family who can handle it

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