Today, Myrtle gets a theme song . This is super fun for me, because I'm constantly narrating my life in song. It's a family thing. My family and I (especially my brother... The resemblance is uncanny) are pretty much like Marshall from How I Met Your Mother: So, a theme song for Myrtle. First we need a style, but there are so many options! A catchy pop tune? Something more angsty? Perhaps a polka or a jig? Nah, without a doubt, Myrtle gets a big musical number. The poor girl works hard, she deserves a chorus to back her up. I'm thinking it will start as an intense solo, Myrtle alone under the spotlight as a lone voice in the distance sings things like: Myrtle was a shy lass, Kept to herself. Digested food day in, day out Then pushed it out of Maggie's ass.* Suddenly, drama! That pesky immune system shows up and starts causing trouble for our heroine. Bum bum bum... Poor Myrtle fell victim To the immune system bully. It snuck up on he...