Crohn's Chronicles: A blog about Crohn's Disease

Today, I'm supposed to list five challenges and five victories having to do either with my health or my activism. Let's just dive right in. Challenges 1) ...  ...  ... Okay, I'm having a little trouble here. While I understand the value of identifying five challenges and five victories, I'm not sure I can. No, that's not true. I absolutely can. I just think that anything I say will be kind of arbitrary.

Hi folks! Today's a short post. I just want to talk about a couple of the really cool things happening around here. First, I'd like to formally announce the launch of the Crohn's Chronicles facebook page! I'll be posting updates for blog posts, cool things happening in the Crohn's community and anything else that strikes my fancy. So, head on over to the page and like it or hit the like button on the top of the column to your right. I look forward to seeing you over there! Second, I'm incredibly excited to share that I will be showing work at the upcoming Counter Balance III at Access Living ! It will be an awesome night of physically integrated dance. If you're in the area on May 18th, I really hope you'll come by and check it out. I'll definitely be performing my solo, Stop, Drop & Roll and showing my group piece, Overwhelming Nuance . I might also get to show my newest piece, I'll Pass , depending on timing. It should be really cool...

When I first read today's prompt  to pick my five ideal dinner guests, my first thought was, "Easy. Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Maya Rudolph, Kristen Wiig and Melissa McCarthy. Done." While this dinner would be pretty much the highlight of my life, however, my choice does not have a whole lot to do with Crohn's.  So, since this is a blog about Crohn's Disease, let's see if I can find five people that would be a little more relevant to my cause, eh?  I'm keeping Tina Fey, though. She's my number one. She doesn't have a chronic disease that I know of, but I know in my heart of hearts that she's a cool enough lady to be able to chat about poo without blushing. I mean, it's Tina-Freaking-Fey. If you need more explanation than that, you obviously haven't been paying attention and I urge you to read her book while watching a marathon of 30 Rock. Right now. I'll wait. My number two is Robert McRuer , the author of Crip Theory: Cultural...

This one may venture slightly away from Crohn's for a moment, but I promise I'll circle back to it. I just need to get this off my chest, be patient with me for a minute. I went to a panel earlier this week on dance and disability. The panel itself was incredibly diverse, with disabled dancers and choreographers, a research scientist, educators, and a dance critic, among others. Each person had a unique perspective on the subject, which made the discussion interesting and inspired a lot of thought. However, there was this moment about half-way through the night when one of the panelists whose experience was mainly in the dance world said that there's really no difference between a modern dance company like Merce Cunningham Dance Company (MCDC) and a physically integrated dance company like Axis Dance Company , both of whom just happen to be showing in Chicago this weekend. To give a brief overview, Merce Cunningham was a pioneer in modern/post-modern dance....

Below is small segment of my Dance Studies Research Project, "Cripping Dance: Radical Representations of the Disabled Dancing Body." It's the bit I wrote about my own work, Overwhelming Nuance (excerpted below), which, as you will see, was inspired by the feelings of denial that so often accompany disease.  Nearly four years after I was diagnosed with Crohn's, it flared massively. Lost in the idea that "my disease will not define my life", I ignored for months the signs of the looming crash. This breakdown forced me to come to terms with the reality of my disease. I suddenly understood that the idea that the mind might overcome the body just supported the willful denial of my disease. After this experience, determined to force an openness about disease in my own life, I claimed disability as part of my identity and choreographed my own "crip" coming out.

My dancing body. I pause at the barre, my stomach cramps and fondues are too much for me to handle. Close my eyes… gurgle, gurgle… relief. I can keep going. My weight fluctuates. One week I have no appetite. I drop five pounds. The next, I’m ravenous and gain it back plus some. I eat when I want to, because in an hour it could be a different story. Be careful though. Don’t want your rumblings to disturb the other students. Maybe just a light snack. Nope, bad idea. I get weird looks from the other students. I grimace and smile, always making light of it, got to keep other people comfortable. Internally, I curse Myrtle. That’s my colon. Yes, I’ve named her. Like Moaning Myrtle, the ghost from Harry Potter who lives in toilets? I got the idea from a book. Myrtle doesn’t care for tights and a leotard. Too constricting, puts pressure in all the wrong places. Grumble, grumble…

Alright, I figure if I am going to do this I need to do some filling in about my life and how it is shaped by Crohn's. Here are the things that you absolutely must know about me: I am a dancer/choreographer. I am currently pursuing a BA in Dance with a double concentration in Dancemaking and Dance Studies from Columbia College Chicago. I graduate this coming May. (WOOO!!) Obviously, dancing with a chronic disease is a complicated and confusing thing.  I was diagnosed with Crohn's my freshman year of college, but had been having seemingly random symptoms for years. At the time I was attending Cottey College, a small, two-year women's college in Missouri, where I grew up. It was a rough time and, after being diagnosed and getting set with a course of treatment, I never really talked about my disease. I, like many others who face illness, was determined not to let it define me, and so I did not discuss it, or really even think about it. Eventually, this denial wreaked havoc wi...