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HAWMC Day 28: I Noticed Something...

So, I noticed something today. I was in the grocery store stocking up on end-of-semester snack foods with my brother and I glanced at my hands. Specifically, the palms of my hands. Do you know what I found? Color. My palms were pink. This may not make sense to some of you. Let me explain. Because of Crohn's, I've been severely anemic for the last several years. One way to tell (without a blood test) if you're anemic is if your palms are pink. I learned this when I went to my current doctor for the first time and he asked to look at my (super pale) palms. He then told me, with impressive accuracy, what my hemoglobin count was. I've been feeling really great recently. Not perfect, of course. There are still rough days, but the good far outnumbers the bad. It's been nearly two years since that doctors visit, and my hands being pink again just seems like such a tangible demonstration of the progress that's taken place in that time. Pretty cool.

I feel great! and then...

Possibly worse than feeling awful all the time is feeling great for a while and then flaring up. Okay, maybe not worse, but incredibly frustrating nonetheless. For the first time in years, I have felt like myself for more than a couple months. (Although, as I have come to realize, Crohn's is part of my "self.") I go places and my first thought is not whether there is a public bathroom close by. I wear heels without having to worry whether I will be able to walk the next morning. I treasure these things, which so often go overlooked, because they are not default for me, they are luxuries. For years I worried about these things almost constantly, and I had forgotten how freeing it is to be able to let those go, not entirely, but a little bit. But then some small thing happens. I am stressed about school, rehearsals, or issues in my personal life and Myrtle begins to reflect that stress. The weather changes and my joints freeze up. I get my period and the flare that ofte...