Today, Myrtle gets a theme song. This is super fun for me, because I'm constantly narrating my life in song. It's a family thing. My family and I (especially my brother... The resemblance is uncanny) are pretty much like Marshall from How I Met Your Mother:
So, a theme song for Myrtle. First we need a style, but there are so many options! A catchy pop tune? Something more angsty? Perhaps a polka or a jig? Nah, without a doubt, Myrtle gets a big musical number. The poor girl works hard, she deserves a chorus to back her up. I'm thinking it will start as an intense solo, Myrtle alone under the spotlight as a lone voice in the distance sings things like:
Myrtle was a shy lass,
Kept to herself.
Digested food day in, day out
Then pushed it out of Maggie's ass.*
Suddenly, drama! That pesky immune system shows up and starts causing trouble for our heroine. Bum bum bum...
Poor Myrtle fell victim
To the immune system bully.
It snuck up on her, very sneaky
And exhausted her fully.
But! In the world of musicals, unhappiness can never last too long. Unless you're watching Les Miserables... then there's nothing but unhappiness. Never mind that now, though! The chorus is appearing out of nowhere and Myrtle's about to make her triumphant comeback!
It took her some time,
But dear Myrtle's a tough-y.
She got her some help
And now she's pretty healthy.
Everyone strikes a big pose around Myrtle, who sits on the shoulder of some incredibly attractive young dancer. It's far from happily ever after, but it's pretty darn good. Can't ask for much more than that.
Well... that was fun.
*I warned you a few days ago that I'm no poet. Please don't judge my awful lyrics too harshly, they're just for fun!