I have to admit, I was a little stumped after reading today's prompt over on the WEGO Health Blog. A super power? How am I supposed to come up with a super power that would be relevant to Crohn's Disease? So, I threw on this song...
...and got to thinking.
You know, I think crohnies develop a few "super powers" as a necessity of living with this disease. For instance, the ability to always know where the closest, cleanest, and/or nicest bathrooms are from wherever we happen to be. When I was in school, I could tell you exactly which bathroom was closest to me at all times, but I could also identify the nicest bathrooms on campus. So, if it was an emergency I had a plan, but if I had a little time, I could go to one of the nicer commodes. I would call that a super power. It was certainly useful.
Also, the ability to keep a sense of humor in the midst of lots of pain. This is not a small thing.
But the question is if I could have my own super power, what would it be? Here's my answer: I want the power to diffuse awkwardness. To defeat the awkward zone, as Mr. Jacques put it. I want to be able, in an awkward moment, to instantly create a distraction or make something hilarious happen and suddenly the awkward would pass and everyone present would breathe a sigh of relief. Just call me Doc Awk.
Obviously, there are some personal reasons why this would be totally and completely awesomely fantastic. But let me endeavor to give you a legitimate, Crohn's-related reason for this particular super-power.
Let's be honest for a minute. Living with Crohn's can be super awkward at times. You're in a yoga class and you just can't help but let go of that fart you've been trying desperately to hold in for the last half-hour. Or worse, you have to make a break for the nearest bathroom (because you know exactly where it's located) in the middle of a sun salute. You're sitting in a very quiet room, maybe taking a test, maybe watching a theater performance, maybe there was just a lull in the conversation, and suddenly your colon lets out a massive gurgling sound in the way that only crohnies can understand. You're in the middle of a conversation about Crohn's and you've reached that point where neither you or the person you're talking to know what to say, so you just sit there in a vaguely tense silence. Now, wouldn't it be wonderful in these moments to be able to simply blink/snap/wiggle your nose/shoot awkwardness-killing spider webs out of your wrists and bring that moment to a close? I thought so.